She said to her son’s killer, ‘We’re victims of the same situation’

Princess Titus stands in the garden of Freedom Farms, on 29th Street and Emerson Avenue North, across the street from where her son Anthony Titus was shot and killed on July 4, 2010. Photo by Arie Gatlin. 

By Arie Gatlin, North News Intern and Azhae’la Hanson, Asst. Editor 

Princess Titus remembers planting strawberries with her 16-year-old son, Anthony, in a garden on 29th and Emerson Avenue N. 

Two weeks later, he was murdered in a shooting within view of the garden. 

A year after his passing, Titus found the courage to enter the garden again. She found rows of budding strawberries. 

She sat in the garden and enjoyed the berries' sweetness. 

“Even though his life wasn't physically there, there was an energy,” she said. “There was a reminder that my son was there, and that he left me behind something that I could enjoy.” 

Titus serves her community in multiple ways, including her work as co-founder of the food justice nonprofit Appetite for Change. She also works with grieving mothers and parents who’ve lost children on either side of the gun. 

Before telling her story, she asked two North News reporters how they would decompress after hearing it. She asked them to make a plan for reflecting on the feelings that come from a conversation about loss. 

With time in her role as an advocate, she understands how to process grief and the toll it can take if someone doesn’t work through the pain. 

When Titus got the call that Anthony, affectionately nicknamed “Phat Phat,” was shot, she recalled driving to the scene reciting the Serenity Prayer. 

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” 

Titus said that she was fragmented by the loss of Anthony. 

“There was really nobody else who was going to be able to help me process this trauma in a healthy way because I hadn't seen anybody else do it,” she said. 

Acceptance came from frequent meetings through a grief program called Death to Life, and change, a decision to pull herself out of a downward spiral and into a healthier approach to grief. 

The garden became the place where she would go to sit in silence, and cry and talk to Anthony. As she got deeper into the work, she planted more food, and invited more grieving mothers into the space. 

Titus joined community members last year at a press conference and prayer at Folwell Park following the shooting death of an 11-year-old boy. Photo by David Pierini 

She coined “Sister Soup” as a recipe in the Appetite for Change Cookbook to help mothers heal and get nutrients when it was hard to eat or get out of bed because of grief. 

She runs a 24-hour hotline for people whom she describes as “just going through things.” When they call, she gets up, drinks some water, paces around her kitchen, and listens. 

She also founded Standard Edition Women, a nonprofit that helps people impacted by gun violence. 

Through this work, Titus said she has learned that when it comes to gun violence in the community, everyone is a victim. 

Last June, she said she had the opportunity to speak with one of the men who was charged in the shooting death of Anthony. After 15 years, she said she didn’t want to hear the story of what happened that day, but she wanted to hear his story. 

When she first walked up to him, she started by saying, “You got so big.” 

At the time, Anthony’s killer was 17 and was sentenced to 34 years in prison. A 21-year-old was sentenced to 39 years in prison. Both people were attempting to shoot a gang member but shot Anthony instead. 

Titus was acquainted with both men because of her community work. . 

“He just cried,” she said. He asked her why he responded that way instead of with hate. 

"Because we're all victims of the same situation,” she recalled telling him. “It just looks different for me than it does for you. He has a whole bunch of trauma and violence he's endured as well. 

“I'm not angry or upset with him. Whether we were the holder of the gun or the receiver of the gun, it was an issue that we were all receiving violence.” 

She said she wants him to live a safe life, and to stop the cycle of violence. She wants her legacy to be one that shifts the culture to be less violent. 

Titus said mothers need to let people see them cry. 

“Sometimes it'll consume you and cover you, and you're gonna drown,” she said. “But if you're grounded with somebody, if you're connected, then when the water goes out, you'll be on dry land again and able to enjoy the sun.” 

“Crying is okay,” she continued. “Rub those tears in. Maybe they are the toner that'll keep our skin good,” she smiled. 

For those wanting to reach Titus’s hotline with Standard Edition Women, they can email standardeditionwomen@gmail.com, call 612-440- 8488, or find them on Instagram at Sewmnorg.